Episode 62: The Advertisers for Alaskan Tourism Have Taken Grammar Further and Higher (Than Anybody During One Commercial.)

"In Alaska your vacation just goes farther. And higher." Even if they said "In Alaska your vacation goes further, and higher' the grammar is incredibly poor.

Starting a sentence with a preposition is awkward. With a preposition starting a sentence can be very awkward. They end the same sentence, or thought, by saying that vacations go farther. I think we might travel greater distances to vacation in Hawaii. Mount McKinley is the highest mountain on the North American continent. It is not the highest point in the world. Your Alaskan vacation is no further tah your nearest airport.

Anytime a modifier is used it must have something to modify. Bluer than the bluest eyes. Higher than the top of the world.Farther than you have ever previously traveled. I have traveled to Tahiti, so I think that I will have to either travel around the world or at least as far as Australia and New Zealand.

An Alaskan vacation will take you to new heights.

Come to Alaska to chill out. (Okay, that ends in a preposition where slang has almost made it proper.)

You can go further and higher on your Alaskan vacation.

Find your wild side in untamed Alaska.

Episode 95: ODing on prepositions

Anybody who has read any of my previous posts know that most of the issues I have with poor grammar revolve around ending sentences a preposition with.

Old Dominion has a great concept with their current advertising campaign where they have their drivers dressed as everything from astronauts to life guards. The are advertising that they can satisfy your needs for any profession. They say:  "Whatever business you are in, that is the business we are in." Two fragments do not make a sentence. Two fragments that each end in a preposition is really atrocious.

"Your business is our business" That line might be a little scary considering the NSA scandal.

"We keep your business moving."

"Whatever you business, we get you where you want to be."

Episode 60: It is the best we are made of.... Jeep

Jeep has a new commercial where they probably wish that they had used better grammar. The joined the 'End a Sentence with a Preposition" Club when they said "It is the best we are made of." It is the best Jeep that we have ever made.

Episode 58: Stop me if you have heard this before.

Taylor Kia is a Toledo Area car dealer who advertises that they will give you $4500 for a new car "even if you've been turned down before." The owner/spokesman for the dealership is doing just fine. Evidently the phrase wouldn't fit in the allotted screen space if they use proper grammar. Hmm. "Even if you've been previously denied." Their version has 38 characters versus 36 characters with the proper grammar.

Episode 57: Another Week, Another Progressive Grammar Faux Pas

Last week it was Episode 55 and the "atom splitting" episode. This is the fifth time that I have have caught bad grammar coming from Progressive. They are claiming that they are "a smarter way to shop around." Are you shopping around town? Are you shopping around the Internet? Are you shopping around in circles?

There has to be a better way to generate revenue.

We Crunch the numbers so you don't have to.
Progressive "gives you lots of choices to choose from."
So "them are here."

Episode 56: All that remains is to run a grammar check before running a new commercial.

Autumn is upon us. There are probably some big projects that you want to complete before wintr rears its ugly head. Waste Management is obviously experiencing an influx of waste from home remodeling projects. They have a great new concept: "The Bagster."  The homeowner is able to buy a super-sized, durable, canvass bag, into which he/she/they can dispose of construction and demolition debris instead of having to move a large metal dumpster the renovation site,.

Their tagline is: "All that remains is the perfect room you planned for." The "for" is totally unnecessary.  All that remains is the perfect room you planned.

Waste Management: This may be the last carryout you need after creating a new kitchen.
Waste Management: You create the mess and we will  manage it.
The Bagster: Your next renovation project is in the bag.

Episode 55: How is That Grammar Thing going? It's getting Progressive-ly worse.

I thought that I was going to make it through one Progressive commercial without being annoyed by poor grammar or awkward sentences. I posted my first example of poor grammar from Progressive for the "So them are here" line. The next example was when Flo told us that she "gives us lots of choices to choose from."   Progressive's grammar continued to worsen when their commercial  aired the phrase that I referenced in my "Progressive-ly Worse Grammar" column: "We crunch the numbers so you don't have to" .

I thought that I was going to make it through another Progressive advertisement without a grammatical failure, and I was wrong.  Flo utters this sentence during the most recent commercial: "How is that atom splitting thing going?"

How is that Atom Splitting application working?

Do you have that Atom Splitting function working?

Where is Flo going with her advertising? I think that their advertising crew needs to go back to grammar school.

Episode 54: Land Rover - Above and Beyond - Pike's Peak Climb

It appears that the person who created the new Delta advertising campaign created the Land Rover campaign. When you only have two sentences in your commercial, your tag-line should be grammatically correct. This is the third commercial I have viewed this morning, Tuesday, September 17th, where the grammar has caught my attention. The entire message of the commercial is "Land Rover. Above and Beyond." (The other commercials with poor grammar were for the Bagster and Green Giant.)

Two prepositions and a conjunction do not make a sentence.

Episode 53: A Second Look at Delta's New Ad: Service Below and Comfort Above

I like the concept of the new Delta commercial. They pay homage to the innovators in aviation history: Orville and Wilbur, Amelia, and Buzz. If I were them, I might even give credit during a future commercial to the people who have died during the Space Age, during the Mercury, Apollo, and Space Shuttle Eras. It might be a little dicey honoring catastrophic accidents in space, and it could be very rewarding at the same time. All of these disasters took place during the final days of January and the first days of February.

The latest grammatical disaster I found was heard while I re-watched the Delta ad that was the foundation of Episode 49. They said "instead of looking behind, we are looking ahead." That grammatical gaffe distracted me so much that I missed the second gaffe during the same commercial. They state they they have service below and comfort above." Does that mean that they do not serve you while you are in the air? Does that mean that they don't make the gates comfortable for you? Is their service below standard and their comfort above standard?

We serve you from drop-off to baggage claim.
We look forward to making your next flight memorable.
Innovators empowered us. We empower you.

I wish I got paid to clean-up this grammatical gaffes.

Episode 52: When Managing Your Weight Bigger is Better? Really? Better Than.....

Green Giant has a new commercial that says that 'when managing your weight bigger is better.' Bigger is better than what? If people are managing their weight they tend to think that they want to be able to eat their way to a thinner lifestyle.

Episode 51: Verizon: The Grammar You Can Rely On (to provide you service)

Verizon has an interesting advertisement spot that shows a person upgrading his phone whenever he wants. He opens a box, and light and music emit from it. He is asked to stop opening the box during a meeting because the people on the other end of a conference call are receiving feedback from the sound emanating from his Verizon box. They tell us that they have the network you can rely on.

Am I expecting too much for the company whom I have chosen to provide me with my cellular service to have a network upon which I can depend? Am I expecting too much that advertisers will check their ad copy before spending money on running advertising spots?

Verizon: Our Network or their Not-Work
Verizon: Upgrades when you want them. Service where you need it.
Verizon: The Best New Phones and The Most Reliable Connections
Verizon: Smart Phones and Smarter Networks (I know - the modifier is not saying which networks are dumber than Verizon's. It is implied.)

In other words, repeat after me, don't end a sentence a preposition with.

Episode 50 of Alarming Grammar: ADT - The house next door was broken into

I started collecting examples of bad grammar this past February. I started with weekly entries. I was concerned that I would run out of examples too quickly if I published examples every day of the week. I started with the classic Progressive commercial with "Them Are Here." My concerns were quickly eliminated as I started collecting more and more example. I am backlogged at this point in time. I was looking at some of my old draft columns when I came across an oldie and a goody.

I ran into my first example of alarmingly bad grammar from ADT this past March. They were advertising the ability to monitor package deliveries at a person's home while that person was away at work. This might have come in handy this past Christmas when various delivery companies through televisions over fences or criminals stole the merchandise off the suspect's front porch.

 Someone broke the English language for ADT a second time and I want to know whom. ADT is talking about how a burglar broke into their neighbor's home. That is all that they had to say.  The voice-over said: "The house next door was broken into." I could argue that it should be "The house next door to us (our babysitter, my parents, etc) was broken into (while they were______.)" Ending a sentence with a preposition has been the most common grammatical error that I have recorded here in this blog.

There are a number of other ways around this grammar graveyard. It could have been: "Someone was having a party in our neighbor's home. Our neighbors didn't know that they had uninvited visitors until it was too late." Create a sense of urgency. Another way to create a sense of urgency would be to say "Our new neighbors had an unpleasant welcoming committee visit their home. Their home was burglarized while they were at work." This would be another way to spur someone into action.

The best time to install a system is while you are building a home. The second best time to install a system is before you move into an existing home for the first time. It is always better to install a system before your home has a fire or a burglary.

It would also be a better advertisement if they finished by saying "We can protect you while you are asleep or awake." or "We can protect you home while you are home or while away on vacation."

One last option: Protect your home before someone steals your sense of security.

Thank you for 50 episodes of bad grammar. There will be more examples next week.

Episode 49: This grammar is not flying high in the skies.

Delta has a new advertising campaign where they are attempting to say that they are not resting on their laurels.  They are supposed to be looking toward the future of air travel. They say that "instead of looking behind, we are looking ahead.'

Are they looking behind their planes? Are they looking behind they customers? Are they looking at "behinds?" Are they looking ahead to next week, next year, or the next generation of airplanes?

So many slogans sound so 'lofty' that they almost make sense grammatically. This slogan is no exception.

I suggest: "While other airlines are resting on their accomplishments, we are looking forward to the next generation of air travel." Too "windy?"

Another option: "Learning from our experience and looking forward to improving your experience." Of course, someone in advertising will truncate this to "Learning from our experience to improve yours."

Episode 48: Another school ad with improper grammar

If I ran a advertising agency, and I was running a spot for a back to school commercial, I would make doubly certain that my grammar was correct. Target has a new ad that says "School takes a lot. Target has it all." A lot if what? Time? Effort? Interest? Grammar? It may be the reason that elementary school was called "Grammar School" during my childhood.

Episode 47 Verizon: Having the grammar you want on the blog you rely on

"Having what you want on the network your rely on" is what Verizon Wireless is promoting. They are not promoting proper grammar while they promote their network. This is yet another example of promoting a product with a preposition ending the sentence. Pre-position. Positioned before a word to which the phrase is linked.

What you want, where you want it, when you want it.

The network you want when you need it.

Verizon. You can rely on us

It's your choice: Our Network or their Not-Work.

Episode 46: Add more taste to your grammar

Post Shredded Wheat is promoting adding  more taste to your bowl. I didn't know that my bowl had taste-buds. This is a topic that drives me nuts. Taste is a sense. Flavor is what you taste.

The same holds true for when people say that food smells good. Aroma is supposed to be used for food. Fragrance is supposed to be used for flowers. Odor is supposed to used for unpleasant aromas.

Post Shredded Wheat Wakes-up Your Taste-buds The Right Way.

The Villages - The Sequel - It's the grammar you've been waiting for

It's the lifestyle you have been waiting for. The Village is a retirement community in Florida. This is the second example of bad grammar The Villages from.

The Villages is the lifestyle you:

1.  have earned
2. deserve 
3. you've envisioned (note: not dreamed of)

It is time to get serious regarding the grammar we are obviously not teaching in grammar school.

The Villages - A Place to find plenty of friends to share your bad grammar with

The Villages is a retirement community in Florida where you can play golf and make new friends. It appears to be a place where a person can lose his self or herself in bad grammar. They advertise that they are a place where you can find friend to share your retirement with.

I hope that when I retire I will find someone with whom to share good grammar.

You have enough to worry about.

Binder and Binder law firm says that they will take care of the government, and that we "have enough to worry about.' I worry about bad grammar coming out of the mouths of someone who may want to represent me. It should be 'let us do the worrying for you.' We have enough things on which to focus. We should not have to focus upon the bad grammar of our advertisers.