Commercials for 2014 may have even more exceptional grammar than those from 2013

Happy New Year. Last Year I wrote 130 blog entries and enjoyed 2247 views. This year looks like it will have a lot more of the same. Feel free to follow me on Twitter or follow this blog.

Speedway is promoting their coffee as even "more exceptional.” Merriam-Webster Online defines exceptional a few different ways, including:

• not usual : unusual or uncommon
• unusually good : much better than average
• mentally or physically disabled

So, Speedway’s coffee is more much better, more unusual, or more uncommon.

I have not had any of their coffee recently say wether or not it is exceptional. I think that they sell gasoline at the Speedways, too (I'm kidding. I often fuel up my car at a Speedway.) A better tie in would be to say:

 "An exceptional opportunity to fuel your body and your car at the same time."

Episode 109: Nissan Easy Choice Advertisement Could Have Used Better Grammar.

"Nissan Easy Choice Sales Event" tells you that you can chose to go further, connect better, and get in easier. Three modifiers just left hanging. I understand that they are saying that you can get better gas mileage, better handling, maintenance, details, and do it now with less down payment or easier credit options. With whom am I connecting through the driving of a particular car? Aren't they treading on the Ford Sales Line "Go Further?"

They could say it so many different ways. They can play off the failed "Obamacare Promise by saying "If you like your mileage you can keep your mileage." How about "You Can Keep Your Car Company if You Like Your Car Company?"  They can also say "We can get you more bang for your buck when you buy a new Nissan and better gas mileage when you drive a new Nissan."

Episode 91: Some Advertisements are Beyonder Words

This advertisement is only one third as bad as I thought it was. I never thought that handsomer was a word. I always thought that it had to be phrased as more handsome. I was wrong.

Less Expensiver is a phrase that I did not have to check. Let me say that I have seen fewer words that are bizzarer than expensiver. Sharperer. Really?

Handsome. Sharp. Inexpensive. Grammar Check.
Hansome. Sharp. Fiscally Responsible.

ePisode 84: eSurance's grammar is awesomer

Even the paid spokesman for endurance hesitated before he said the word awesomer in their "Tennis for the Modern world" commercial.  The text for the advertisement is:

Over the last 100 years, tennis has gotten less dainty. Racquets less splintery. Courts more surface-y. Technology made the game a whole lot faster. And Awesomer.

Most awesome. More awesome than.... Awesomeness.... Awesomely bad use of the English language. Perios instead of commas? How about using semi-colons in that terrible paragraph? Surface-y?

eSurance - Insurance for the Modern World.

eSurance - for eXceptional coverage.

eSurance - eXactly what you want when you need it.

Episode 79: If More Reliable is Better, is Most Reliable Best?

AT&T is advertising that their 4G service is more reliable and that it is better saying that "More is Better." Fine. More reliable than whom? More reliable than what? Better than whom? Better than what? Is the AT&T $G service better than their 3G service?

Their website, ironically promotes their network better than their television advertising. The say that independent reviews from PC World and PC Mag have awarded their network with being the fastest and most reliable network in the country. How's that coverage? T-Mobile and Verizon seem to be claiming better coverage. Fast is only so fast if their isn't 4G LTE coverage.

S'mores are better than these fragmented advertisements. Any time that you use a comparative word the first object has to be linked to the second object. "More" and "Better" are both comparative words and cannot be linked to one another.

Episode 76: Qunol Co-Q10 absorbs better (than basic grammar)

This advertisement makes me scratch my head. Qunol advertises its CoQ-10 for joint pain. They say that they are "the better CoQ10." The hanging modifier drives me nuts. If it is the better CoQ10, which CoQ10 is the best? How is it better?

Do you want good, better, or best? Are they afraid to say that they are better (than one of their competitors?)

I recommend: Qunol - the Only Q you need to know in CoQ10.

Episode 65B: Our grammar has never been worse

I commented this week on a BP ad where the representative said that they are drilling for oil "more safely." I'll say it again - it is either safer, the safest we have ever been, or safely.

The same spokesman finished that same commercial with "Our commitment has never been stronger." It has never been stronger than it is now? It has never been stronger than their grammar? Stronger is a modifier. Check the commercial before it airs, or in this case errors.

Episode 65: BP's grammar needs to be cleaner, clearer.

I was watching a BP Oil commercial yesterday and the grammar bothered me. The spokesman explained that they had learned some lessons after the BP Horizon accident in the Gulf of Mexico. They said that they have learned how to extract oil from the Gulf "more safely." That language is bizarrer than you might think.

Bizarre and safely are words that cannot be modified. The interesting thing is that the root words can be modified, and they are modified in the opposite way. Bizarre things can be even more bizarre  or the most bizarre. Bizarre things cannot be bizarrer or be the bizarrest. Keep that in mind while playing Scrabble with unscrupulous friends.

Conversely, drilling practices can be safer. BP oil can be the safest drilling company. They can drill more safely. They can drill safely. They cannot drill more safely.

Who checks these commercial before they air?

Episode 62: The Advertisers for Alaskan Tourism Have Taken Grammar Further and Higher (Than Anybody During One Commercial.)

"In Alaska your vacation just goes farther. And higher." Even if they said "In Alaska your vacation goes further, and higher' the grammar is incredibly poor.

Starting a sentence with a preposition is awkward. With a preposition starting a sentence can be very awkward. They end the same sentence, or thought, by saying that vacations go farther. I think we might travel greater distances to vacation in Hawaii. Mount McKinley is the highest mountain on the North American continent. It is not the highest point in the world. Your Alaskan vacation is no further tah your nearest airport.

Anytime a modifier is used it must have something to modify. Bluer than the bluest eyes. Higher than the top of the world.Farther than you have ever previously traveled. I have traveled to Tahiti, so I think that I will have to either travel around the world or at least as far as Australia and New Zealand.

An Alaskan vacation will take you to new heights.

Come to Alaska to chill out. (Okay, that ends in a preposition where slang has almost made it proper.)

You can go further and higher on your Alaskan vacation.

Find your wild side in untamed Alaska.