HughesNet is a satellite Internet provider. They advertise that they "help you stay connected." Are they connecting you with your friends, your family, your bank, or your work? There is an object to which we are being connected that is missing from the sentence.
I recommend: HughesNet helps you connect with your world, your way.
If that is too wordy, then: HughesNet - When you can't be tied down by cable.
Ah, if only someone would hire me to write these witty bits of advertising.
Showing posts with label fragments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fragments. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Episode 95: ODing on prepositions
Anybody who has read any of my previous posts know that most of the issues I have with poor grammar revolve around ending sentences a preposition with.
Old Dominion has a great concept with their current advertising campaign where they have their drivers dressed as everything from astronauts to life guards. The are advertising that they can satisfy your needs for any profession. They say: "Whatever business you are in, that is the business we are in." Two fragments do not make a sentence. Two fragments that each end in a preposition is really atrocious.
"Your business is our business" That line might be a little scary considering the NSA scandal.
"We keep your business moving."
"Whatever you business, we get you where you want to be."
Old Dominion has a great concept with their current advertising campaign where they have their drivers dressed as everything from astronauts to life guards. The are advertising that they can satisfy your needs for any profession. They say: "Whatever business you are in, that is the business we are in." Two fragments do not make a sentence. Two fragments that each end in a preposition is really atrocious.
"Your business is our business" That line might be a little scary considering the NSA scandal.
"We keep your business moving."
"Whatever you business, we get you where you want to be."
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